(no subject)

y body is punishing me...
I've gained 5 lbs from yesterday to today.
I'm trying to keep myself calm and trying to sleep. I was 10lbs away from my goal, now I'm here... 15...lbs.

I've seen me 10 lbs near the goal a few times already in the past 2 weeks. Why I can't stay like that? Why did I have to binge and not purge, specially today, because last night I was freaking out about my pulse in rest being too high and that being from purging.

I hope when I wake up that at least I lost 3 lbs in water. Please, don't do that to me. I'm feeling terrible.


Hey, I'm New

Hey everyone. 25F from NJ here. I was "recovered" from bulimia, laxative use, and EDNOS habits about 6 years ago when I met my boyfriend. I loved him and he told me he could never be with someone with an eating disorder (at the time I had lied and said I had /had/ an ED but not anymore) so I "recovered" for him.

But I just don't see the point anymore. I hate everything about my weight now and I also think I have a hormone issue or something from recovering and gaining the weight too fast. Losing weight is not as easy as it used to be. I'm just looking for people who connect on my level and can be my buddy. I'm alone in these thoughts and darkness and it would be really nice to have at least one soul who understands.


s anyone else ed like me, that switches in between the worst stages of b/p or complete fasting during depression issues?

Older I get more I hear my therapists telling me about that when I was 13/14, at that time I could care less, right now, it affects my relationship. Men want akinny/fit wives, but can't deal if she has an ed.

Can't understand.

Sorry, x-posted in a lot of places so I need to vent!

xena70 -main

new girl

Just wanted to say hello.

Im 30. Ive had an ed since i was 6...though i wasnt diagnosed until 15. A mixture of anorexia (current) and bulimia. Major laxative abuser.

Im 5 foot 7.5 // 171cms
Low weight 85.8pounds // 39kg
High weight 180.4pounds // 82kgs
Current weight approx 105pounds // 47kgs

Hope everyones day is going ok.
three little kittens


Long time gone. Me, screwing up. I find myself always trying to "get back on track" again and failing over and over. Sigh. How do I pick myself up and throw myself back into these routines? I'm a better person all around when I am restricting. I hate my weight. Disgusted. I hate the crap I've been shoving down my gullet. When I restrict I have energy. I think I keep up with life better. What gets you going again?

25+ buddy?

I just joined livejournal and am looking for mates. I am not sure how this page works so I will post my stats.
Height: 1,57m
I have always had issues surrounding food and weight and would love to have a friend who has similar experience and stats. I will be there for support and we could help each other reach our goals.

Been MIA

Hey going to try to write more. Ive lost more weight but not as much as id like. I know if id knock out the drinking id be in the 120s by now but I suck at selfcontrol. I just started drinking a couple weeks ago and have a lovehate relationship with it. Im broke now though so im quitting today!!!

Im doing measurements today.. I think my hips and waist may be smaller. I need my friggin thighs to shrink! My size six pants are baggy but im still to nervous to try on my size five or four pants.

Ive cut down on the purging and lax. Im only doing either maybe once a week at most. The stupid thing is that I know its bad, but I cant deny yhe weight loss. 

I need to lose four lbs this month but theres not enough time I think. Im going to try though!


Hello all,

I am new to this community. I have had bulimia since I was 12, I am 23 now. Once I went through recovery I gained weight so quickly and went from 114 to 120 to 130 to 140 and now I am a whopping 186 from over the years. I have been exercising every day and eating 1200 cals a day but see no results. I miss the quick results I used to get when I would starve myself and throw up whatever I did eat.

Anyways, I would LOVE to have an Anabuddy, the only things is, I feel guilty about helping someone hurt themselves. Has anyone dealt with this feeling? I just don't know if i can stick to my Ana ways without someone there to hold me accountable.